It’s bonfire night and we have a BBC Strike;
Members of the NUJ, began their walk-out at midnight.
We are set to see disruption, even to their flagship shows
They say they have a contingency, so let’s see how it goes.
There were tensions over pensions, when this row first began
And now picket lines are being formed at sites across the land.
With some high profile players, including presenter Fiona Bruce
We wonder when the two sides will find a mutually beneficial truce.
There’s a new lingerie firm, that’s just made it’s debut
It’s name is Boux Avenue; From Theo Paphitis to you!
Ladies of all sizes are now dancing with glee
And ready to buy bras in sizes A up to G.
Twitter fans were first to hear this project’s new name;
Brought to us by Theo, of Dragons’ Den fame!
Seductive and romantic, with designs in their plenty
Boux caters for sizes from 8 up to 20.
So come the official launch in spring 2011
Women across the land will be in lingerie heaven.
So if you need nightwear or lingerie, you know what to do
Don’t get your knickers in a twist, just visit Boux Avenue!
The X Factor results show, kicked off with the group song
This time led by Bon Jovi, with contestants singing along.
They were living on a prayer, waiting for time to pass by
Before the next act took the stage, in the guise of Jamiroquai.
Tonight, the lovely Rhianna, is the star headline act;
This girl has real talent and that is a fact!
The phone lines are closed, and no more votes can be cast;
Which X Factor performer is about to sing their last?
After the obligatory ad breaks, those safe move to one side
With only those with the lowest votes, left with nowhere to hide.
Paije, Cher, Aiden and Wagner are the first to survive
With One Direction proving their lucky number truly is five.
The sixth act safe was Matt, followed by Rebecca
And Tesco’s Mary shimmied towards her own X Factor Mecca.
Treyc Cohen was the last, to be put safely through
So that leaves Belle Amie and Katie as this week’s bottom 2.
Simon Cowell told Katie, she sung better than on the main show
But as Belle Amie are his girls, then he voted Katie to go.
Cheryl is sending home Belle Amie, just to keep it fair
And Dannii chose to save Katie; so far no surprises there.
Cheeky Louis had the last vote, and so deadlock is had to be
And in the end, the act to go, was the quartet Belle Amie.
To be fair the last performance hadn’t been overly great
So now they’re out of the running, here’s to next week; I cannot wait!
Our favourite Sunrise presenter, did an interview with the Mail
And instead of what was reported, they produced a might fail.
With all the usual cliches, they overlooked the matter in hand
And that is the demise of local news and training across the land.
Eamonn tries to involve the masses, as he gives the public his views
And with 30 years of experience, he knows how to handle the news.
New journalists may struggle, as the doors to the industry close
And what Mr Holmes really wanted to say, is what will happen to those?
We need to show our support to a stalwart of communication
As the mornings would be darker, without those smiles across the nation. Eamonn Holmes is the kind of presenter who knows what the public needs
And with his skills, mighty oaks could grow, from his enthusiastic, versatile seeds!
The weekend is here, and even though I am ill
The X Factor is on, so watch it I will.
I managed to stay awake the whole time it was on air
And I am shocking myself, with tonight’s favourite being Cher!
Matt Cardle had a go at Leona’s first hit
But it didn’t really compare, not even a little bit.
And Wagner’s Bat Out Of Hell, was an opera too far;
It’s Halloween, are you scared yet? I’d have to say that we are.
So I’ll be tuning in tomorrow, to see which act will go
With the mighty Rhianna performing on this particular results show.
Will One Direction and Katie Waissel both manage to survive?
Join me tomorrow evening, for another X Factor poem, written live!
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You don’t want to miss this! Everyone should see!
A lady who eats dragons, for breakfast, dinner and tea.
She has so many deals, for whoever you are;
If you want a motor, then you should go to LINGsCars!
When you click onto the site, you might get a surprise
As the info and colour is a symphony for your eyes.
Ling calculates the deals in her own special way
In terms of how many Big Macs it would cost you each day.
Now, read the testimonials, then select the car you need;
If you have a query, Ling responds very quickly indeed.
Once you’ve checked out her website, you’ll tell everyone you meet!
So sign up with LingsCars today to drive your new car next week!
We’ve hit 8’clock and it’s X Factor results time;
The contestants kicked us off with a badly synched mime.
Luckily Mrs Cole’s performance was far better rehearsed
And it was lovely and sweet to see her shaking with nerves.
Michael Buble also performed, and the British ladies swooned
As we awaited the results, under the light of the moon.
But do you know, I think truly, that most ladies’ new goal
Is now to embody the dainty Cheryl Cole.
A well placed ad break followed, for Cheryl to re-dress
Before Dermot gave us the answer as to which acts were a success.
Cher, Aiden, Wagner then Katie went through
Then One Direction heard the news that they were safe too.
Rebecca then Belle Amie, that made 7 happy acts
And the eigth person through, was the talented Matt.
Tesco’s Mary was the tenth, closely followed by Paije;
So John and Treyc will now sing for survival on the stage.
The last two songs did nothing for me, my attention span gone
But it was no great surprise that the evictee was John.
Tonight Cheryl’s performance, was for me, the real treat;
So it’s over and out now, from me, till next week!
Oh dear, cried the politicians
We seem to be in debt
We’re going to make some cutbacks;
Let’s see what reaction we get.
We’ll shave a bit off the public sector
And then some more for good measure
Did you say you wanted to be taxed more?
Why thank you, it’s our pleasure.
We’re doing it for the country;
Debts mount into the trillions.
Some might get caught with their pants down
Showing faces of ruddy vermillion.
We’re doing what the banks might call
An extensive financial review.
Also known to those in the trade as
Extraction of money, from me and you.
We make no bones about it
The whole economy will be hit
But we’re on a rollercoaster
And we might do the double dip.
Today the decisions will be spoken.
The public wait for the commandments to be read.
Brace yourself Britain, for reality;
It all rests on the Chancellor’s head.
